I’m Back. (Again)

Hello all.

I am not sure what keeps bringing me back to this little blog. Maybe its just the appeal of having something with my name to it? Is it that I’m part of the so-called “selfie generation” and just have to broadcast my every thought and action on the internet for the whole World to see (Let’s be real though, theres probably only about 10 of you readng this)?

Maybe… Probably…

But whatever the reason, I keep being drawn back. I read through some of my old posts today and had a very hard time going through them. Its funny how the mind works sometimes, how it can make the hard parts fuzzy over time. How it dulls the pain as life moves on. I have been feeling healthy for a while now, mentally anyways. Dont get me wrong, I still have days where I can feel the dullness and sadness trying to creep back in, but I have learned how to deal with these feelings now and push through. But I am learning that it’s so easy to forget how bad it really was. When you are going through something like depression and anxiety it is so easy to feel like you’ll never be well again. That you’ll never be whole again. But then we start to heal and we begin to forget.

I am grateful at the turnaround in my health and well-being recently. But I also don’t want to forget the pain that has made me so strong. I dont want to dwell on it, but instead to take it in and learn from it. I am always afraid of a relapse, but I think by going back and remembering my warning signs I can learn from the pain and contnue to grow and he strong.

I can ony hope the same for everyone out there who had gone through or is going through depression or GAD (generalized anxiety disorder). I know that if I can make it to the other side that we all can. Even if its not always easy.

So I suppose that is what keeps bringing me back here. The reminder of where I have been and how strong I have become because of it. And I hope that anyone out there reading this will read my old posts and come back to this one and feel hope. Because you can get better. We all can, and we will.

Why Hello Again.

It has been months since I last looked at, posted on, or even thought about this little blog here. Many things have happened. I worked in Costa Rica for 5 weeks over the summer, moved 3 times, started 2 new jobs, quit both new jobs and now I am attempting to go back to school. And through all that I was thinking I was doing so much better. Off all my anti-depressants and anxiety meds! But then that switch flipped again and I’m back to struggling. It almost seems harder this time. Life is a daunting thing sometimes my friends. Making choices in a day that will affect the rest of your life. And without much of a support system, it can be downright terrifying. School is hard, finding a job that doesn’t cause me to have panic attacks in the bathroom is hard, and personal relationships are hard. I’m just waiting for something to get easier. But in the meantime I’m forging ahead, trying to make the best of it. Trying to make myself enjoy this process, this life. Sometimes all I want to do is lie down and sob. And sometimes I do. But other times is when that inner strength comes a knocking and says, “you can do this. You are strong”. And so I pick myself up for another day and hope for the best. I hope you are all doing well. Keep your chin up folks, its gotta get better.

Take me back here please. Paradise.

Crossing Items off My List, and For a Good Cause!

As you can see at the top of my blog there, I have a “25 before 25” list. Well, I was happy to cross one of the items off my list today!

For about a year I have been growing my hair out long so that I could cut it and donate it to a group that makes wigs for women struggling with cancer or other serious illnesses. I researched a few groups to decide who I was going to send my hair to, and I decided on Pantene Beautiful Lengths. They are a collaboration between Pantene and the American Cancer Society. They also donate all their wigs to women free of charge! Which was really important to me. I didn’t want my donation to go to a company that made a profit off the wigs.

My aunt and 80 year old grandmother both have donated their hair before, so I was inspired to also do it and follow in their footsteps. Lucky for me, my hair grows fairly quickly, so I hope to be able to donate again in the future.

But enough talking, here are the before’s and after’s!

This morning before cutting!

Sectioning it out. Slightly freaking out lol

Ahhhh!

Twin ponies!

Finished Result!! 🙂

I even managed not to panic as she cut off the pony tails lol This hair has been my security blanket for a while now. It’s very freeing to be rid of it. I feel lighter physically and emotionally. And it feels good to be giving back. I am relatively healthy physically, but I know if I ever lost my hair I would be devastated. So I hope whoever gets wigs from Pantene feels more confident because of it.

Note: another website I found for donating hair is Wigs for Kids. I just didn’t choose them because my hair wouldn’t be long enough. But if you have 12 inches to donate, then I would recommend them for sure!

This. Is. Amazing.

Someone finally said it! lol

“Cellulite: It’s time we all just get the hell over it.”

Amber Rogers over at GoKaleo.com has earned my respect with this post! If Scarlett Johansson “looks like hell” then there is no hope for the rest of us lol

From GoKaleo.com

 

It’s very sad to me that people look at a picture of a a healthy, fit woman in a bathing suit and pick her apart. We should all be praising this picture because she IS fit and healthy!

 

All women are hot, cellulite or not! Perfect is boring anyways. 🙂

“Why Society Still Needs Feminism”

Why Society Still Needs Feminism

Because to men, a key is a device to open something. For women, it’s a weapon we hold between our fingers when we’re walking alone at night.

Because the biggest insult for a guy is to be called a “pussy,” a “little bitch” or a “girl.” From here on out, being called a “pussy” is an effing badge of honor.

Because last month, my politics professor asked the class if women should have equal representation in the Supreme Court, and only three out of 42 people raised their hands.

Because rape jokes are still a thing.

Because despite being equally broke college kids, guys are still expected to pay for dates, drinks and flowers.

Because as a legit student group, Campus Fellowship does not allow women to lead anything involving men. Look, I know Eve was dumb about the whole apple and snake thing, but I think we can agree having a vagina does not directly impact your ability to lead a
college organization.

Because it’s assumed that if you are nice to a girl, she owes you sex — therefore, if she turns you down, she’s a bitch who’s put you in the “friend zone.” Sorry, bro, women are not machines you put kindness coins into until sex falls out.

Because only 29 percent of American women identify as feminist, and in the words of author Caitlin Moran, “What part of ‘liberation for women’ is not for you? Is it freedom to vote? The right not to be owned by the man you marry? The campaign for equal pay? Did all that good shit get on your nerves? Or were you just drunk at the time
of the survey?”

Because when people hear the term feminist, they honestly think of women burning bras. Dude, have you ever bought a bra? No one would burn them because they’re freaking
expensive.

Because Rush Limbaugh.

Because we now have a record number of women in the Senate … which is a measly 20 out of 100. Congrats, USA, we’ve gone up to 78th place for women’s political representation, still below China, Rwanda and Iraq.

Because recently I had a discussion with a couple of well-meaning Drake University guys, and they literally could not fathom how catcalling a woman walking down University Avenue is creepy and sexist.
Could. Not. Fathom.

Because on average, the tenured male professors at Drake make more than the tenured female professors.

Because more people on campus complain about chalked statistics regarding sexual assault than complain about the existence of sexual assault. Priorities? Have them.

Because 138 House Republicans voted against the Violence Against Women Act. All 138 felt it shouldn’t provide support for Native women, LGBT people or immigrant women. I’m kind of confused by this, because I thought LGBT people and women of color were also human beings.
Weird, right?

Because a girl was roofied last semester at a local campus bar, and I heard someone say they think she should have been more careful. Being drugged is her fault, not the fault of the person who put drugs in her drink?

Because Chris Brown beat Rihanna so badly she was hospitalized, yet he still has fans and bestselling songs and a tattoo of an abused woman on his neck.

Because out of 7 billion people on the planet, more than 1 billion women will be raped or beaten in their lifetimes. Women and girls have their clitorises cut out, acid thrown on them and broken bottles shoved up them as an act of war. Every second of every day. Every corner of the Earth.

Because the other day, another friend of mine told me she was raped, and I can no longer count on both my hands the number of friends who have told me they’ve been sexually assaulted. Words can’t express how scared I am that I’m getting used to this.

Because a brief survey of reality will tell you that we do not live in a world that values all people equally and that sucks in real, very scary ways. Because you know we live in a sexist world when an awesome thing with the name “feminism” has a weird connotation. Because if I have kids someday, I want my son to be able to have emotions and play dress up, and I want my daughter to climb trees and care more about what’s in her head than what’s on it. Because I don’t want her to carry keys between her fingers at night to
protect herself.

Because feminism is for everybody, and this is your official invitation.

— Caitlin O’Donnell, Drake University.

I came across this on one of my favorite blogs, “Sweet Madeleine“. It really resonated with me. Currently at my University, there is a man going about at night attacking and raping women. There have been 5 victims so far and he has not been found. So needless to say, it is a scary time to be a woman living in my area. And it just straight pisses me off. I should not have to be terrified to carry my trash to the dumpster. I should not have to carry pepper spray with me just to go check the mail. I should be able to feel safe in my home and not feel the need to check the locks all the time. And the sick thing is that I know if I was a man, I would not be concerned for my safety in the slightest. Life is not fair folks, and it just plain sucks.