Decisions, Decisions.

So I find myself facing a dilema.  About a year ago I signed up for what would be my first half-marathon. Thinking, I’ve run 6 5K’s, done 2 Warrior Dashes, I can train and run a half-marathon, no problem. Well, sometimes life has other plans and this happened. So needless to say my grand training plans were replaced with lots of sleep and testing out different medications (some with horrific side-effects). As of lately I have started running again and most days it’s pretty good. But some days, mostly due to my medications, my legs feel like they have turned to lead and every step is difficult. So it is a slow journey building my mileage up again.

So this is where my dilema lies. I have gotten back up to about 3 miles (and a very slow 3 miles.) But I have this half-marathon in two weeks. That’s right. TWO WEEKS.  So I have a decision to make.

Do I try to run the half-marathon, knowing that I will not finish and just run/walk as far as I can? Or do I try to switch over to the 5K on the same day? Either way I know it will be a rough day and I will be beating myself up the whole time with whatever choice I make.

So basically, I have to pick the lesser of two evils. Either way I feel like a huge failure. I know that I have a serious illness and that it was not because I was lazy or didn’t try. It was because of circumstances beyond my control. IT WAS BEYOND MY CONTROL.

That is what I keep telling myself, over and over. But I still can’t make a decision and it’s getting down to the wire.

I’m not sure what I was hoping to accomplish with this post, and I’m sorry if a lot of it is rather whiny.  I think I was hoping that by typing it all out I would come closer to a decision.

It might be a day-of decision. Who knows. Either way, I will be running on the 21st, and not very happily.

In the end though, even through all the complaining, I am just grateful that I am feeling well enough to even start running again.

Afterall,

Google Image

Google Image

 

Thanks for listening to my complaining tonight.

If anyone has any suggestions, throw them at me! It would be very much appreciated!

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